I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
