Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize