is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
