I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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