i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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