Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
