just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize