cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
