It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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