she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
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Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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