I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
