Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
