I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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