I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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