Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
