I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
