I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
