Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
