he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
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I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches