I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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