Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!

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  (312): She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon! http://tfl.nu/58y3
  Replies (9) Good night (4240) Bad night (854)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  How wet are you?

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  Ever heard of a U-boat?

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  (908): How wet are you? (1-908): Ever heard of a U-boat? http://tfl.nu/c25g
  Replies (16) Good night (3960) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?

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  (650): what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job? http://tfl.nu/25b2
  Replies (19) Good night (2952) Bad night (729)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw

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  (614): There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw http://tfl.nu/mvua
  Replies (45) Good night (7548) Bad night (858)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.

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  (479): He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing. http://tfl.nu/ga3r
  Replies (7) Good night (4162) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson

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  (508): this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson http://tfl.nu/oc0q
  Replies (7) Good night (3819) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense

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  (406): I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense http://tfl.nu/qajt
  Replies (48) Good night (5628) Bad night (1555)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night

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  (847): Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night http://tfl.nu/mp67
  Replies (7) Good night (3154) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.

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  (903): best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them. http://tfl.nu/kc67
  Replies (4) Good night (1642) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.

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  (210): Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT. http://tfl.nu/29iu
  Replies (17) Good night (4440) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.

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  (575): I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend. http://tfl.nu/kkwb
  Replies (3) Good night (774) Bad night (1500)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  C smoking isn't all bad

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  (678): When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs. (678): C smoking isn't all bad http://tfl.nu/znda
  Replies (5) Good night (765) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke

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  (215): It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke http://tfl.nu/1v10
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.

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  (515): Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself. http://tfl.nu/ezc4
  Replies (9) Good night (1535) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...

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  (902): Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls... http://tfl.nu/dtir
  Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (366)

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