help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
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Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.