Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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