is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
