Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
