a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
