I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
