At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize