I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize