i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
