is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
