i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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