I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
