so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize