um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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