WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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