It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize