I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
