my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
