are you so shy because you have an std?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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