We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
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You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.