You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..