I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection