You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
