you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize