it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
