Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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