I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
