white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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