so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
