You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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