chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.