Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing