I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
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you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My ATM looks so different sober.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize