Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.