Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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