Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
