Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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