I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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