miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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