Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
