I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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