grandma shit on top of the toilet
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You ruined the universe
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
