fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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