Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
